Parenting is the most challenging unlearned discipline, globally and particularly, for working moms. It’s labor enough to have an already tasking job that drains your energy. With that not being enough, we have to complete domestic chores. It feels like we’re working on an hourly shift. While we’re getting paid for one job, we’re not necessarily getting incentives from the other. But guess what, no one’s ever entirely ready for the load that comes with parenthood. There is no life hack, DIY, or blueprint on how to go about it. Nevertheless, it chose us; you, me, and every mother out there. As working moms, we have to create a comfortable environment. One that enables us to do essential parenting jobs without lagging in our careers. As moms working from home, we have been in the same space as everyone in our household. Unfortunately, the COVID19 pandemic has created a more demanding task. There haven’t been opportunities to hang out with our girlfriends, go on dates with our significant other, or live life Lavida Loca! And to top it off, we have more of a demand for cooking, cleaning, and overall house management. No matter how much we love our family, staying at home can sometimes be overbearing.
“No matter how much we love our family, staying at home can sometimes be overbearing.”
We are forced to be multi-taskers. As working moms, our days are longer than it is for most people, but there are a few things you can implement to create the balance you need to both work and live life at home, without feeling burned out. Here are some helpful tips to enable you to create a sustainable balance between being a mom and an employer/employee:
- Plan out your day ahead of time
Don’t you hate having to log on to your computer and realize that you have a meeting you forgot about? Or waking up to discover that you did not send the mail to your boss. To avoid situations like these, we need to plan for our day ahead of time. A day before, compare your work calendar with your children’s schedule for the next day. This will help you determine if you have to wake up earlier than usual to prepare for the day or what tasks you can and cannot complete for the day. Having a plan for the day will reduce your stress level. For instance, there will be no need to rush to get jobs done or ill-prepared for meetings and presentations. It will also allow you to be more focused and productive with your time. Additionally, it will enable you to work smarter, not harder.
- Create fun times
As the saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” It is essential to incorporate a fun time for both you and the children. If your children have something to look forward to, they’ll be less likely to interrupt you. As a working mother of four (4), it has been hard coming up with ways to incorporate fun activities with my children during this time. It is best to pick fun activities that will interest all parties.
A board game competition won’t hurt or planned karaoke nights. Over the past few months, I have tried scheduling and setting up virtual playdates, but that has not worked. It was more like a mommy’s happy hour because the children were relatively uninterested. So, I let my girls create their fun. My second daughter has a great imagination; she orchestrates plays, musicals, dance-offs, and so much more for us in the family room. I also purchased science kits from Amazon (I still have purple and blue dye on my beige carpet from the slime and dye), and other fun learning activities for each personality in the house. Incorporating child-friendly fun activities makes life so much easier. It also helps to strengthen the mother-child bond.
Moreover, when I have meetings on days when school is closed, I make use of their supply chart where all their school and play activities are. Setting up fun times has lightened up the monotony in the house, and despite having a pandemic outside, our home is filled with laughter and fun. Our kids need fun, so do we.
- Take Breaks
You may be looking at this step and questioning how, when, and where. Like you, I have asked myself the exact question. However, I realized that if I don’t take breaks throughout the day, I won’t work efficiently. This is why taking breaks, no matter how short, is crucial for working efficiently. Try to include one or more of the following routines into your day:
- Get up in between meetings and walk around the house: We already experience poor working habits by sitting in an uncomfortable chair (or position for an extended period). So, get up and do some stretching exercises to regain your strength, posture, and focus.
- Schedule time-off to give your brain and body a break: We have automatically gained so much time-off or annual leave since we have been home due to COVID-19. Take advantage of those hours now by using them to give yourself a break. It could be sleeping or catching up on house chores. This could also be an excellent opportunity to spend more time with the family (because they are important). You will thank yourself!
- Give yourself Grace
As working moms, we have to maintain the habit of giving ourselves acceptance, love, and forgiveness. We won’t always have perfect moments or days. We would sometimes lose patience with our employer or employees, but you have to accept the situation, forgive yourself, and love yourself. Remember that we all are imperfect, and we shouldn’t expect perfection from the imperfection we inherited. So, love yourself and give yourself those moments of grace.
- Do Not put Pressure on Yourself
We all see other working moms who wear a full-face of make-up to their virtual meetings or the ones who have children with perfect grades. This is great for them, but this doesn’t have to be our story, and we don’t need to feel guilty for not being able to live up to their standards. One thing I have learned throughout my forever-evolving motherhood journey is that that person who appears to have a perfect life also has his/her share of sad moments or is dealing with something we may not know about. Just because they seem to have everything figured out for themselves on the outside doesn’t mean they are on the inside. So, don’t put pressure on yourself to be the perfect mother, wife, employee, employer, friend, colleague, sister, or community member. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have three home-cooked meals each day (who has time for that) or to have a sparkling clean house every day. When we put pressure on ourselves, we accumulate unnecessary stress and strain in our lives.
Also, anger and bitterness tend to sneak into our feelings and destroy our relationships because those closest to us (living in our home) are the ones those feelings will be projected on. Instead of beating yourself up over things you’re unable to achieve, try to outsource them if you can. What is the worst that could happen if you don’t cook dinner? You can always place an order to have pizza delivered or take out from your favorite restaurant. Being a working mom on its own is demanding, don’t stress yourself with self-inflicted pressure, and seek extra help when needed. Your partner can be your greatest support.
As working moms, we have more demands than we did pre-COVID-19, but those demands don’t have to drain us. We can merge a few tweaks in our daily routine to find a balance between our work and home life. When we add those tweaks, we will feel better about ourselves, and the pressure of getting everything on our to-do list won’t be as high. Being a working mom is not an easy job, but it could also not be a tasking one if these five tips are implemented in our day-to-day lives. With that said, flexibility is one significant advantage of working from home. Make the best of this opportunity. I encourage you to use the five tips presented above in your daily routine and accept the transformation of what balance can do for you and your family.
For work and life balance tips and inspiration, listen to The Latika Vines Show, a work and life balance podcast for working moms. Listen and download on Spotify.
As a Career Development Strategist, Coach, Author, & Podcast Host, Latika Vines empowers working mothers, in male-dominated industries, to lead and grow in their Careers while strengthening Organizations to retain them. Latika is a firm believer that everyone has a life, career, and/or business vision, and although that vision can get blurry and put on the back burner at times it must be picked back up and turned into an initiative (ACTION)! Learn more about Latika and her initiatives at www.visionary-initiatives.com.